I was directed recently that if I am going to share my story, I should tell the entire truth of it. This is sorta impossible to do without hurting others as there are always truths left unspoken and probably unnecessary to share. Truth is not a perception, it is facts. And even though I hate being lied to and truly believe honesty is the best policy, not everyone can handle the truth. And some truths are mine to keep. In my experience, most people do not want the entire truth. They do not want to have to accept what it is or have to make changes if it goes against their core values nor are they usually able to live with themselves if they ignore the truths and continue to live in a way that may go against their nature.
But I did start this blog to share my life experiences. To hopefully have something to offer others from the pain and the joys. I do not think like others in following some of the “rules” society says we are to practice. I try not to label “shoulds.” My view is that we have one life; I want it to be beautiful, productive, creative, loving, fun and hopefully meaningful. The only real “should” I abide in, is to love. To let love trump fear. In offering my story, the pretty and the ugly, hopefully, it may help someone else in some way. When I do share my story, it is not to anger others, but it may. I am human. I do not hold anyone to a standard greater than being human.
In thinking about this prompting of sharing the whole truth, it made me think about why I feel that honesty is so important. Why do I hold it above all else? I have been lied to, been a liar, and believe that everyone does lie. But in my relationships, I find being honest the highest form of respect. I believe that when you lie, you take away another’s choices. If you do not have all the facts, then it is hard to make a complete decision about anything. I have figured out that I highly value free will. Deception takes this ability to act on free will away. We often decide to lie out of fear of being judged, abandoned, or persecuted. And also, out of fairness, we often do not want to hurt another person with how we might TRULY think or feel, or by what we may be doing.
These fears can stop us from sharing our whole self. If we are insecure in ourselves, if we think we aren’t enough or that we are supposed to be everything to another, we might be hesitant to be transparent. It is natural that we do not want to harm the ones we care about but aren’t we harming them when we are not real? When we hold back our true selves?
When we are comfortable in our own skin, we no longer seek the approval of those around us. We no longer worry about sharing our thoughts, fears, highs or lows. When we can trust OURSELF, we are free to be authentic. To be honest. Accepting yourself, helps us accept one another.
I will eventually share my story. Or more of it. What led me here. What keeps me here. What I’ve learned and changed along the way. I will continue to pursue authentic connections. I will continue to be honest…to myself most of all. And to hope that by sharing pieces of myself and my life, I will offer value to those around me.
Be honest, be authentic. It is ok to stand alone. It is ok to think differently than the pack and not conform to what society says in how you must live your life. Each one of us only gets to exist on this earth once (as far as I know), so live it as true to yourself as possible. Even if that doesn’t work for others. Only You are responsible for yourself.
Truth can be hard to accept, to hear. To recognize when it is not present. It can be challenging to risk loss, risk judgment, risk the fallout…but I will always ascribe to telling the truth. Knowing that each of us is human; imperfect; it’s much easier to share the failures. But it also makes the triumphs stand out more.
Look for more of my story, the highs, and lows that I will share as I continue to pursue authenticity and transparency. I wish the same for you. Share your story, be willing to be open to others.