Posted in Sunday quotes

Sunday reflections (20)

I’ve been sharing a lot about joy as that is my usual state and I really want to share how possible it is to overcome the past and move forward to having a life you love. But I do have off days too. Today is one of those. I am cranky. Tired. Easily annoyed. Kinda wishing I’d just stayed in bed. There’s no real reason I can attribute this mood to other than it’s just an off day.

Do you feel like that at times? Where you’re just crabby and don’t really feel like talking to anyone? How do you tackle cranky emotions when they crop up?

In continually seeking to be my best self, I have found one of the best ways for me to change my attitude and mood is to be alone. And also to exercise.

It’s a beautiful sunny day here. Perfect for walking to the park or taking a long bike ride. Sometimes deep breathing and sitting quietly in the fresh air helps to clear the mind.

Think I’m going to head to find a place of peace. To sit quietly and close my eyes and refocus my thoughts.

I hope when you experience an off day, you have a goto method the helps you redirect to finding your better self. We all have cranky, edgy, negative attitudes but we can choose how long we walk in that state. We can choose to find a way back to peace and joy within our selves.

I hope you have a great beginning to your week. Here’s a couple pictures from our family hike yesterday; a beautiful moment I think I’ll focus on.

Latourelle Falls.

Posted in Sunday quotes

Sunday reflections (14)

Relaxing. Reading. Breathing. This is my day.

Lost in the written word of others. Someday I’ll finish the stories I need to tell.

We each have a story to tell. I’m reflecting on mine today.

Somedays one just needs to breathe. May your Sunday be as beautiful.

Posted in General

Connected Shelters

The sun is shining here in the northwest today.  The air is crisp but not too cold.  A perfect day for a run.  A mellow day at home,  working on chores,  writing,  relaxing.  A good kind of day.

But as the world often does,  it smacks us with pain and sorrow when we least expect it.  I received news this afternoon from a friend of a tragedy in their world.  And my heart breaks.

I am struck with the way we are connected when we love and care for others.  That once someone truly has a piece of our hearts,  we can’t fully ever get it back and there’s a bond that even time and distance doesn’t fully sever.

Now we don’t have to act upon this bond.  Sometimes we let that piece go,  forgetting we ever gave it away.  When the universe shows us the link,  we don’t have to answer the call.

But sometimes I think the universe reminds us were all connected.  I had sent a message to this friend earlier today,  asking if something was up.  Having no way to know,  that yes,  indeed, something was going on.   These are the moments when I’m shown that when you decide folks are a part of your tribe,  it’s possibly binding.  That perhaps there was a reason I felt the need to contact this friend; today.

As I grieve for my friend and wish to send positive thoughts, I heard this song:
Brother by Need to Breathe.  This song resonated with me as I think of the ties that bind us.  The ways we remain connected.   And I thought I would share the chorus:

Brother let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

I have heard this song many times before, but today it hit me a little differently as I was thinking about how we are to be shelters for one another.  We are to carry each other’s burdens and share the load.  We are not designed to live this life in a bubble alone, we need others. We need brothers. Sisters.  Sometimes we need to lean on one another.

May you hug your loved ones a little tighter this evening.  May you be a fortress in a storm for those that need you to be.  And may we show love to each other, every day.

Posted in lists

Interruptions! A few ideas on how to deal when they hit.

Learning to roll with the unexpected can be challenging.  I find that I often do not handle this as well as I would like.  This week and specifically the last 24hrs are a reminder of how little control we have.  I had to leave earlier in the day yesterday to pick up a kiddo and take her to urgent care.  This turned into an almost 2 hr trip.  This meant that we were not able to go to my nephew’s soccer game as planned, as once we were finally home, we were tired and needed to make dinner.  The other kiddo was sick and cranky as well.   This affected my goal of posting on Thursday. 

Then this morning, one kid is at home sick.  The other has another doctor appointment and I am not getting my tasks completed in the manner I wanted so that I can have the fun I had originally planned for today.  Tonight’s plan has changed as well.   

Basically, my plans, what I wanted to do today, has been interrupted! Not just gone sideways as I posted about a few posts ago, but derailed.  

I would love to tell you all that I am calm, cool and collected when things that are beyond me, affect me, but I am often not.  When this motherhood journey started, I had no idea how much would be out of my control.  Throw in a divorce, many years later a custody battle, job layoffs and a recent back surgery, this life just keeps reminding me how little I have control over some of the chaos we face.  We can plan all we want, but it really is often a crap shoot it seems.  This applies to ALL of us, not meaning to say, only parents, although this has been one of my greatest teachers of this, perhaps because I have been doing this motherhood thing for almost two decades now.  But everyone deals with the unexpected and life interruptions. 

As I took the eldest to school today, I was not patient.  I was not calm.  I was annoyed and put out I guess you could say.  Trying to reign in my own selfish desires can be very tough sometimes.  I had plans for today dang it!   I was thinking as I drove back home, of the things I wish I had done rather than sound frustrated and raising my voice at one that I love so dearly.   I know that we all already know these, but this is just a quick reminder for myself as much as for anyone else.  

Some of these are specific to driving as I am often doing so when these frustrations hit. 

  • Breathe!  Take a few deep breaths before trying to speak or respond.  Roll down the window, let some fresh air in.  I live in the NorthWest, where it rains often; let the rain in, let it hit your face and refresh you. 
  • If in the car, maybe you need to scream.  When my kids were small and we were all losing our patience with each other, we would roll down the windows and on the count of 3 we would ALL scream.  This would often make us laugh and calm us all. 
  • Leave the room or the situation for a minute or two.  Go get the mail, come back. Walk or run around the block.  The quick change of scenery will help with changing your focus as well, even if just for a moment or two. 
  • Turn the radio up for a few minutes, listen to a song, maybe sing along.  Be distracted by something else for a minute. 
  • Think before responding.  I love this quote:   If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~ Buddha   Think about what questions might need to be asked, what kind of solution there might be rather than just on the irritation or annoyance.  I need to learn to apply this more often.  So much easier said than done, especially when tired or irritated. 
  • Look at the person you are interacting with. Realize that they may have had plans that are suddenly affected as well by the day not going as planned.  They may be just as frustrated as you.  Think about how they are feeling or might feel if you react negatively or in haste.  Think about ways to work together through these moments rather than separately. 
  • If you do need to make a quick decision about something during this time, tell the person you are interacting with, that you need a few minutes to collect your thoughts and you will get back to them.  Learning to be deliberate in our responses rather than reactionary, seems to be tough for many of us (or maybe this is just me), but will help us in the long run.  
  • Practice! Practice! Practice! We have all heard the phrase, practice makes perfect, but we are in a rote mode it seems when we say this.  It’s not something I do well; at least when it comes to being patient.  I am much more inclined to react, rather than think when I am frustrated and feel that things are out of my control.  I like to be able to have fun, to keep the plans I make with friends or family and I have a tough time accepting when this can not happen.  

In writing today, I am hoping to remind myself that we are all imperfect.  That we all have the areas that we struggle with when we are not in control. That we all have moments where we lose our cool and lash out or respond too hasty.  But we can learn to accept things that are beyond our control and learn how to deal with those moments more gracefully.  We are all constantly learning and growing to be better than the day before, or possibly a few hours before. 

What tricks do you apply when frustrated with things beyond your control?  Perhaps you have new ideas that would help us all.  Please share.  🙂