Posted in Sunday quotes

Sunday reflections (21)

In thinking about what to write this Sunday, I want to be transparent as always.  As I discuss this journey to live your best self and life, I often shy away from discussing my children.  It is a piece of life I tend keep more private.  But in order to be my best self I have to (at times) share this part of me as well.  I have been in a new season in this motherhood journey I have enjoyed for the last 18years.  Having a young adult home from college for the first time, is a bringing new unexpected challenges.

Learning how to mother a young adult is new and hard!  It brings lots of joys and proud moments as I watch her reach goals and try new things.  To see her successful fills my heart.  But there are also lots of trying, difficult moments as we try to navigate this new environment.  Knowing how to parent a young adult child is just like the rest of parenthood; it comes without any guide book.

For some reason when these moments of struggle hit, I hear the words of this song below.  I thought I would share it with you today.  As I have shared before, modern Christian music will always be a genre that calms me, centers me and helps soothe some rough or thorny parts of my heart.  I can be demanding not only of myself but also of my children and partner.  It can be challenging for me to know what is the right advice to give or how to listen instead of speak.

I’m thankful for the scars.”   

In struggling how to move through these new changes I keep hearing that line.  I know my connection with these words may not be the meaning behind the song, but this is how these words speak to me.  For some reason this line in this song eases my pain and sadness that come when my daughter and I struggle.  When we have difficult conversations or can’t seem to understand each other.

I can physically see the scars on my body that bringing children into this world have left.  I can see the scar on my back where the weight of life struggles broke me down.  I can feel the scars on my heart from where I have loved, hurt and healed.  All these scars remind me that I am human.  That I am always learning.  Hopefully growing.  And we have these scars to share with others; they are our offerings to our children.  When I look at my scars as a way to help my children through life’s tough moments, they bring a sense of worthiness to all the pains of this life.  Through my scars I can show them; we may get down, we may feel broken, we may cry and writhe in pain, but we do not remain there.  Scars are pain healed over.  I get to share mine with my lover, children and friends.  Don’t hide your scars, they are part of your story.

I AM THEY -Scars
Waking up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes

Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn’t trade it for anything
‘Cause my brokenness brought me to you
And these wounds are a story you’ll use

So I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

Now I’m sending in confidence
With the strength of your faithfulness
And I’m not who I was before
No, I don’t have to fear anymore

So I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

I can see, I can see
How you delivered me
In your hands, in your feet
I found my victory

I can see, I can see
How you delivered me
In your hands, in your feet
I found my victory

I’m thankful for your scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know your heart
And with my life, I’ll tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful

I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars
So forever I am thankful for the scars

I recommend listening to this song and finding your own interpretation.  I encourage you to find songs that you relate to, music is a great balm.  I hope you see the scars in your life as your gifts to others.  You do not have to show someone physical scars but you can use them to tell your story.  Each of us have a great story.  Each one of us are worthy to be loved.  Sharing yourself, your true authentic self, is our greatest way to give to our loved ones and others.

I hope you are able to be thankful for the road you have traveled.  For the scars you have acquired; you are living!

Do you have a song or lyrics that speak to you in difficult moments?  Do you have tips for parenting in the young adult stage of motherhood?  I would love to hear your thoughts; drop a comment or send me a message.  I love to hear your feedback.

 

Posted in General

Graduation

T-minus 36hours!  That is all that is left till my first baby, my oldest, my only daughter graduates high school.  An entire year early!  The tears fill my eyes so easily these days as I watch her work hard to complete this goal she has set.  Seeing all that she has accomplished the past 9months to graduate and head off to college, makes me so proud.  Sometimes the emotions are overwhelming.  Pride and excitement along with some sadness as we enter into a new phase of this parenting journey.

As others are entering this stage, know that you are not alone on the path of letting go while still desiring to hold on.  That we enter this new arena of almost-adulthood and yet can still recall all those moments of childhood that have passed by so incredibly fast.

To those with little ones, hold on extra tight.  And breathe through the moments that seem endless and exhausting.  Soon enough they will be letting go of your hand to run out into this great big world!  And to those in the middle when these beautiful beings that we love beyond rational reason, are driving us into possible madness with their anger and frustration as they navigate the middle teen years. Know that this will pass and they have actually listened to the wisdom you have been trying as patiently as possible to instill.

For those of you that are about to celebrate graduation along with me–Great Job!  You Did It!  We made it!  We raised up the next generation!  Pat yourself on the back!  Be proud that you have helped guide and mold another human that is going to impact the world!

Time has flown, faster than I could possibly imagine!  I wouldn’t trade any of these moments, for they have helped us arrive here, to this beautiful place!

So proud of you baby girl!   Congratulations!  Can’t wait to watch what goals you will crush next!  Thank you for the amazing ride called motherhood that you have brought me on, love you beyond the moon and back!  🙂

Posted in General

And the stockings were hung…

It’s just about that time!  For me, one of the best days of the year!  Christmas!

I understand that some of you may not celebrate this day, but in my family we have always made this an extra special day.   In my house growing up, Christmas was not a particularly, overly, happy time. I was raised by a single mother, who was battling cancer a lot of my childhood years.  The holiday season was often difficult for her, as I have come to understand more as I too have been a single mother most of the child raising years.

But even in the midst of hard times, lean times, and illness, we found a way to make this season a special time of family and friends.  I don’t remember the hard moments the way my mother surely does, instead I recall what she instilled in us as memories and traditions.

As I prepare for the coming weekend, the festivities of the day, I think about the ways we celebrated as children and what traditions old and new I have carried into raising my own children and thought I would share these with you.

  • Each year we would hunt for a tree, helping her set it up as best as two little kids could, listening to Christmas carols as we hung the lights and decorations.   And now each year, my kids and I put up a tree (fake one for too long now) and spend a few hours without electronics, having put these away as we decorate and of course while listening to Christmas music.
  • We were not allowed to wake our mother up (my younger brother and I) till we had accomplished a couple things.  The tree lights must be turned on.  Coffee had to be made.  And if memory serves, we had to wait till at least 7am to wake her up.  Many of these we have carried over into the present day.  Although my children are older now, so I think I am the first one awake! But coffee is still made, hot chocolate as well for them.  Lights and music on.
  • Presents are slowly passed out to each family member, one at a time.  We have each taken a turn throughout the years, getting to playing Santa.  This year is my nieces turn! Present opening can take a long time,  as we go round robin one at a time.
  • We created a tradition when I was married, that even all these years later, although modified we still practice.  My kids’ dad would make homemade cinnamon rolls to eat early Christmas morning.  For years he did this, starting before we had kids.  As we no longer celebrate holidays together, my sis-in-law began a new tradition a few years ago; making homemade french toast.  Each Christmas morning, we fill our bellies eating her yummy food.  We even pause present opening!
  • And my favorite part of all is opening stockings!  Each year we save this for last, after dinner.  We always opened stockings as kids, but we didn’t wait, it was just part of the presents, but in raising my children, I wanted to find a way to make them a special part.  It’s ironic that part of the reason stockings are so fun to me, is from my first marriage, when my ex-husband placed little tiny diamond earrings in the stocking toe. The memory of that has always made me smile as it was an extra surprise after all the other gifts were opened.  I have since made stockings an integral part of gift giving.  And we enjoy doing them later in the evening, prolonging the gift giving all day.

These are just a few of the ways we make this day a special event.  It is a day filled with smiles, laughter, and family.  It’s one day we all come together.  Turn on Its a Wonderful Life movie and just enjoy the moment.  Creating memories.  

I hope you have a wonderful celebration the next few days.  From my family to yours… Merry Christmas!