Posted in Wordy Wednesday

Wordy girl Wednesday–Merry Christmas

It’s quiet and all through my house those who are here are sleeping quiet as a mouse. I have coffee in hand, tree lights on and Christmas music playing. It’s a beautiful calm this morning.

This year we chose to stay home with whichever children could be here and enjoy a quiet day. It’s been an overwhelming stressful few months and having a calmer holiday seemed just the right thing. Sitting here this morning, enjoying my home in peaceful stillness I know we made the right decision.

Holidays can bring many expectations. And often we can be disappointed when these may not be met. They can be loud, chaotic and lots of fun. But also stressful and frantic. This morning as I start this day I am reminded what this is all about. Family. Love. Togetherness.

I am choosing to be joyful rather than stressed. I chose to enjoy the moments rather than expect them to be something in particular. We get to choose our mindset and I hope you chose love and joy today as you celebrate this holiday. I hope you focus on why we celebrate and what that means to you and yours.

As other family members are off to gather together I am grateful for those asleep in their beds above me right now. Grateful I get another day to enjoy this beautiful crazy life. Thankful for quiet moments to reflect and set my intentions for the day.

Even though this year is different than ever before, it’s still a great day. It’s still a day to celebrate. It’s still a beautiful day even as it changes and brings new moments.

I hope you hold onto every moment this day brings to you. We wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Posted in Wordy Wednesday

Wordy girl Wednesday

Do you practice gratitude moments? Not for the month of November. But in general, do you think about anything or everything you are thankful for?

I’m learning to get back into this practice with my morning routine. Writing down at least three things I’m grateful for each day. Sometimes these are simple things I easily take for granted. Other things are bigger than myself and my little world.

I’m finding this practice keeps me calmer and staying in a positive place. Recognizing all the parts of life that I’m blessed by.

As we head into a holiday weekend here in the US I encourage you to take the time to try this practice out. Stay in a state of thanksgiving and see what changes occur in your own personal world. See how your view becomes more positive, even if in the midst of any challenges.

I’m off to enjoy this holiday. Happy Thanksgiving all.

Posted in General

Healthy relationships; a few items that are required in my view

I’m all about relationships these days. Perhaps it’s finally finding my perfect for me partner. Perhaps it’s getting engaged and focusing on creating our future. Or it’s that I’m very content and happy in this life, having learned what it takes to create a life I love.

I’ve been pondering on whether or not to make this post; because in some ways this topic is subjective. We each may see good but not necessarily healthy.

So I preface this with stating these are my views of what healthy is. What are must haves. What is required. How healthy looks to me.

After leaving a mentally abusive environment and taking the time to heal and figure out my part in the drama, I was open to finding real love. I committed to doing the work on myself so I could be capable of a healthy relationship.

And in doing that work the past few years, I’ve learned some things. Here are 5 Signs of a healthy relationship:

1. You know yourself. You love yourself. By this I mean, you are confident in what you want, what your needs are and know you’re worth having those met. You continue to grow and learn so that you’re becoming a better partner all the time.

2. You respect your partner and they respect you. This in an action word. Healthy partners speak to each other respectfully. Behave respectfully. Actions and words of respect are vital.

  • 3. You can be alone. Your partner can be alone. Choosing to have some independence in the midst of a partnership is important. You may come together as a couple but you are still an individual. Having your own goals and dreams are just as important as the ones you have together.
  • 4. You can compromise. Having a long term relationship requires the ability to put another’s needs as equally important as your own. Accepting that your partner is not you, bring their own point of view of how things are to be done and background story is vital to learning how to meet in the middle.

    5. You trust each other. Not just in the way of commitment, but in sharing of yourself. Trusting that my partner genuinely desires the best for me. For us. Showing the same. Believing being together makes us better people than apart.

    These all seem so simple and obvious when reading this list. And they really are. I could add many more items as well. But the tough part is in the action. Loving and sharing a life with someone requires work. Requires commitment to that work. A healthy relationship isn’t free from stress, tough moments, or angry moments. But it is one of committed actions to show you love and care for each other. It’s building a partnership.

    I was taught love is a verb. Having had more unhealthy than not, it’s an amazing experience to be in a healthy relationship.

    In creating the best life for yourself, learning what you need to be healthy personally, is the first step. Once you can be healthy independently, you have the ability to learn how to be healthy and loving in a partnership.

    My best life includes a partner. After many years alone it’s an amazing feeling to have a partner who shows love in action. Who helps create a life I love everyday. Who helps me be my best self.

    What do you see as your best life? Wether or not it includes a partner doesn’t matter. We are always capable of learning and growing so we have good relationships with whomever we encounter.

    May you keep working at being healthy. At building a life you love.

    Posted in General

    View from the other side

    Sitting up at our family lake house. All but one of my children huddled around. Sunshine reflecting off the water. The puppy laying in the sun. A quiet day. A beautiful place.

    Sometimes these moments are enough. Sometimes these moments are longed for but not what is given. Sometimes one has to move away from the noise to find a quiet moment inside themself. And sometimes we’re given a blessing of a person to help us through.

    As we are celebrating our engagement this weekend, I’m reflecting on the blessing of having that one. That one who understands when to hold your hand and listen. That one who knows when you need an extra push. That one who says “I’ve got this” and you can relax because you know all is handled. The one who makes you laugh instead of cry. The one who will cry with you too.

    I’ve had quite the journey to find that one. The battle wounds are healed. Seeing life from the other side these days. This big, beautiful, chaotic, messy life is beyond anything I could imagine before.

    Living in the grateful space with a partner who sees me. Who gets me. Who shares the fabulous along with the frustrating.

    This other side where love truly does cover all. Words aren’t enough. Time is all we have to enjoy. Each day, it’s enough.

    I wish this happiness for each of you. Be patient. Grow and learn. Love eventually finds you. And this view is pretty spectacular!

    Posted in General

    Ferris Wheel Life

    Personally, I love roller coasters. All kinds; fast ones, upside down ones, all sorts of loop-de-loops. I used to ride every one I could when I attended the fair as a kid. I have taken my kids on many throughout raising them.  As I have aged I find that I get slightly more and more nauseous being spun around in circles or going upside down so my days of twisting, roller coasters are more limited than I would prefer.

    But I found the last few years I have really started to like the Ferris Wheel. It moves at a moderate speed, allowing you to see everything around you down below.  It stops often giving you a chance to chat with your partner in the small car. It is open rather than enclosed allowing you to feel the air on your face. And thinking about this particular ride made me think of what a great metaphor for life this ride is.

    This wheel of life we spin on is often huge and complicated.  We’ve many spokes jutting out of ourselves. Our relationships, children, families, jobs, friends, responsibilities, etc. These “cars” of our life, if you will, are at times at the top, other moments at the bottom. We have seasons of going faster and feeling life is whirling by.  And seasons when everything seems to slow down.  Time seems to come to a stop and gives us rest.  And we can take a moment to look around.  To breathe and re-group.  Or see these as moments to re-connect with our car mate.

    Riding a roller coaster is exciting and fun.  I love the speed and exhilaration of that stomach drop as you go flying up and down and around.  But as I get older and too much of life has already flown by, I find I am learning to enjoy the slower pace of a ride that allows me to stop and see the scenery.

    I find most of our life is probably somewhere in the middle.  Riding along and looking about, moving either up or back down. Having those moments at the top, especially when you are stopped there for a moment and look out enjoying the view, those are the highlights of life.  Those are the times you have accomplished something great.  You have helped your children, partner, coworkers, etc reach their highlight moments.  This is where you can see and feel the joys of life.   And as you come back around, heading down, or as you head up, may those moments build you and grow you, preparing you to round the circle again and again.

    I find I am enjoying being in the middle of this ride, my car heading back up.  Soon to be at the top.  I will stop and enjoy the view.  Look around, take it in, allow the wind on my face and revel in that space.  And be thankful I get to keep on this ride each day.  I hope whatever part of the ride you are on right now, you can see the positives of it.  I hope you look about and see the work that got you to the top.  See the pains and joys and beauty that is this life.

    And if you find a Ferris Wheel, I hope you hop on, take a moment, slow down and look around.  Enjoy the ride!