Posted in quotes

Just some quotes I found

Wednesday’s are often a rough day. Positive and negative energies are usually expanded in my home in extra measure on this day of the week. These quotes just spoke to me tonight. I have been meeting new people, connecting with old friends and processing moments of loss… a lot lately. Thought I would briefly share.

Posted in General

Death and sadness

It’s been awhile since I have posted.  Even now, as I type this I am not sure I truly have much to say.  But I am trying to see writing as a break more than needing a break from it.  It has often been a balm to my soul, so I attempt to share some of that now.

In this past week, a great sadness has rocked me.  Has shaken me enough to ponder; what is the point?  What is the point of this life?  The struggle?  Not really in the melodramatic way it seems I am viewing it, but more in what are we doing with our lives and is it making an impact in the way it “should”?  Is what I am doing here, on this planet, making a difference in some way that is worth my time, energy and soul?

My heart is heavy. My soul is sad. My body is tired. I am too young for the melancholy that I have allowed to seep in these past few days or perhaps longer. I sit and watch others;  strangers or those I love or have loved and see that we are all just one moment from death. We know not the moment unless we take that action ourselves. And if we do, what are we left with? What happens to those we leave behind?

Death takes people, every day, but when it’s done by one’s own hand, I think there is a loss so great to those left behind, that it is beyond our comprehension to understand it.  We are left with so many questions, so many wonderings if we somehow could have changed the outcome.  There is no closure and as humans, we like things wrapped up.  We like to know the whys of things,  it’s part of our greatness. It drives us to come up with amazing innovations and solutions to problems.  But when we don’t get the why, when we are not able to discern another’s thoughts and reasonings, we are left with an even greater loss as we are not able to attribute death’s taking to a rational cause.

Grief is a tough state to bear.  It’s time-consuming, soul-crushing, heavy.  At this time, I am still pondering what is the point?  The knowledge that death is all around us, every day, it is in my own selfishness that I can see we are often unaffected till it hits close to home, till it’s our loved ones, family or friends that cause us to truly be impacted.  Perhaps this is just me, but we often go through life unaffected by those we do not know or care about it.

I am wondering if that is the point of this moment; to be woken up to a greater impact we must make in this life.  To see my one life as greater than this tiny bubble I inhabit and reach beyond the grief and loss we all experience, let it fuel a fire to be a difference maker.  To take the losses of this life and become greater because of them.  As my theme continues, to be our best selves…

These quotes are so very true.... LOSING A FAMILY MEMBER TO SUICIDE: “A person never truly gets ‘over’ a suicide loss. You get through it. Day by day. Sometimes it’s moment by moment.” — Holly Kohler. When someone in your family commits suicide, your entire mindset about life is changed and although your family's world is sadly changed, you learn about the importance of love and you learn to value every day that you have on this Earth.

This hit me as well as important to remember; may we always step up…not necessarily in just the losses.

For those grieving from a suicide loss♥ | Quotes | Pinterest

Have to make a plug for this service:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
1-800-273-8255 

Posted in General

Smoke is in the air

Driving my kiddos to school for their first day this morning, smoke and ash fill the air. This is a new experience for us as this is an uncommon occurrence in this part of Oregon.  Some of the beautiful trails, wilderness, and waterfall areas that we, along with many others, love to explore, are under fire this morning.  It’s sad to witness the devastation.  It will not look the same in my lifetime.   (The picture above is from the local area news stations of the fire in the Gorge).

I had a plan to start a new category of posts today, but think this will wait til next week as this morning is full of mixed emotions and I seem to have other things on my mind.  It is the beginning of a new school year for my never ending growing children.  There are so many fires across Oregon, Washington, California, Idaho, and Montana, impacting thousands of lives.  There is massive devesation as hurricanes hit.  And I have some friends who have recently lost members of their families.

There seems to be a never ending supply of surprises, changes, and loss in store for us in this life.  We can plan and prepare, but we are still often hit with the unexpected.  This can leave us sad, confused, angry, lonely and desperate to understand the why’s of life.

How do we handle these moments?  How do we tackle grief, loss or devastation and still function? How do we face unexpected or unwanted changes?

For those facing loss, know that you are loved and supported.  You are not alone in the journey of this life.  We all face changes, loss and the unexpected.  DISCLAIMER: I do not begin to try to tell anyone how to feel or behave.  I have not had your experiences and am not making light of anything you may be going through.  I write for myself, for me to process, grow and learn and perhaps in the process maybe have something of value to offer others.

I have found a few ways that have helped me this past year as I faced loss and change that I was unprepared for.  These are just some ways I have started to handle things in my life that I feel help me take better care of myself and be a better version of me for those around me.

  •  First,  and I know it may seem a strange statement to make, but I found a lot of peace in the statement, “no one gets out of this life alive.”  I heard this in a song a little while back and even though I have always known this, the truth of it just kind of hit me.  We will ALL eventually face death.  This brought me peace to realize that we are all in the same boat. Having this connection with every single living thing, just brought a calmness to my heart.  NO ONE gets to live forever. For those that are believers, you may have a faith that believes something else and that is ok, but this current life, on Earth, will one day end.  Somehow knowing that I am not alone in facing death, makes it easier for me to accept the reality of it.
  • Second, I bought books on loss and grief.  I read them, made notes in them and tried to practice some of the ideas they offered.  I kept them by my bed at night for when moments of pain and sorrow would wake me up.  Hearing other peoples stories and learning new ways of coping, helped with healing.  Through out life, I have always turned to books, they offer a great resource of information.
  • Third, I try to walk or do yoga every day.  Some form of exercise.  Moving your body, getting that heart rate up and the endorphins flowing, helps more than just our muscles.  It can change our entire outlook for that moment at least.  Even just a short walk can calm your nerves.  There are many resources where you can find the benefits of walking, too many to list here.  But finding a way to incorporate a daily or weekly exercise routine is one of the best self-care methods I have found.

These are just the basic things that helped me in the recent past and things I still turn to. What do you do when facing change, loss or pain and suffering?  I would love to hear your ideas and things that have worked for you.

We continue to hope for rain across the West.  And for the Hurricanes in the South East to dissipate.  We send support to Houston and hope the waters recede.  In this journey of life, may we all find healthy ways to grieve and mourn our losses and help others along as well.

Continued wishes for a better day, each day.