Posted in General


I started this blog one year ago today. It was with the intent to offer hope, inspiration and confidence to anyone that might read. It was my way to work through the pain and grief of ending a relationship with a man I loved who was terrible for and to me. My way to understand who he was, why and how he could do the things he did and call that love. By far the blog posts about narcissistic personality disorder and the recovery from that relationship have been the most popular.

It was not my intent to be outspoken about NPD. It wasn’t to demoralize the man I suffered from. It was to understand as much as I could about this type of relationship. All the stages of it I felt were important to share as I researched and worked through the healing process. I wanted to offer hope for anyone in a similar situation. And to show that it is possible to learn to love yourself again after this type of trauma. This blog was started with the intent to help others find their best life, as I worked to find mine.

One year later and almost a year of no contact, I am overjoyed to be in love with my life again. To have accepted the me that could love the Narc and allow that type of abuse. To have worked through the entire process of healing and understand truly what love is and how one should be treated within that love. To have learned how to process loss and see joy on the other side. To tackle my own demons and free myself from their shackles.

This year of blogging has been a journey of so many things. Self-discovery. Raw pain. Vulnerability. Joy. To be on the other side of NPD abuse and to now have a relationship with a man that accepts and understands who I am, who I want to be and helps me along the way in this adventure of life, is a piece of that joy. Knowing WHO I am and working daily to be MY BEST SELF is the greatest part of this journey.

I am thankful for all I learned this last year. Thank you all who have joined me here. To all those who have and still read about NPD, I hope this blog helps provide useful tools. I hope to spend this next year more focused on Joy. On Abundance and Living a Life You Love!

Here’s to more posts and continuing to learn to be our best selves.

Happy Anniversary!

Posted in General

We are glass

“We are fragile.  We are human.  We are shaped by the light we let through us…”  Lyrics from Glass by Thompson Square

This song keeps going through my head for some reason this morning.  The particular line above especially.  I was listening to old songs yesterday from years ago that have always been favorites of mine.  Blasting them through the house, singing along.  Songs that remind me of special people in my life.  Of how we let people into our lives and some leave a mark on who we become.  They are not just part of our memories, they become part of the fabric of who we are.  Even if they are no longer a part of the day-to-day of my life, these people are always a part of me.

Some of these folks have shaped me into a better person. Some have shown me how to love, how to forgive, how to dream and push forward toward my goals, how to reason and think more rationally.  And some have shown me the opposite.  Have taught me what I do not want to be.  Have shown me the ugly sides of humanity, meanness, and abuse.

Being shaped by the light…to me seems to mean, being shaped by those we allow in to see the parts of us that are scary, afraid, broken and fragile.  Those that hold those fragile pieces like they are glass (accurately named song) and help us through rough moments and grow us.  They bring light into our lives.  These people are the ones that shape us to be better people.  From these, we learn how to love each other and ourselves.

But we also have those that hold those pieces of ourselves that we seem willing to share and they crush them.  Showing them the scary, dark, messed up places inside us does not let light in, in fact, does the opposite, it brings more darkness.  When someone we love hurts us with the very wounds that we have exposed to them, it can sometimes hurt even worse than the original harm did.

I have listened to this song, Glass, many times.  It has always been an uplifting song to me, for its beautiful but also an accurate depiction of how we love.  I love that this is performed by a married couple.  The lyrics seem very directed toward marriage, or a lasting relationship and if you watch the video you see this.   But I think some of these lyrics we can take and apply to all relationships.

We are each made of glass.  We are fragile.  We are human.  We will hurt and heal those we care about.  I want to live a life that weaves happy, colorful threads.  To be remembered for bringing light rather than darkness.  But I know that I will weave dark threads in there as well.  I will not always remember to hold those I love as if they are glass.  I will forget that they come with their own demons and I will be selfish.  I am human after all.

But I hope to keep growing.  To spend more time with those that bring me joy and stay away from those that bring more pain.  To continue to choose to surround my life, fill my home, share my time with those that fill me up to be a better me and avoid those that steal my joy.

I choose to keep letting the light into my life.  To be the light in someone else’s life.  I am so very shaped by those that I have been fortunate to know.  I have loved and been loved. I think all we can do is to continue to learn and grow and keep moving towards being the best version of ourselves.

Go listen to this song.  See if you relate.  If you are holding those you love as if they are glass and letting light or darkness in.  Remember, humans, are fragile.  We can break but we can also mend.

What songs speak to you?  I would love to hear if you have special lyrics or songs that every time you hear them, you are moved to grow or change or are just filled with joy.

Wishing you a fabulous Thursday.  Go be a light.