Posted in NPD

Confusion

Thank you all so much for the comments and the support from this blogging community.  Most of you understand the point of posting about NPD.  But it seems there may be some confusion for some, so thought I’d clear that up.

As I’ve stated,  I started this blog as an outlet for my life experiences.  To help myself and other women find our best selves.  By sharing the good and the bad,  we help each other heal and grow. As women it can be hard to take care of ourselves, I want to offer ways to do that.

Life was moving in that direction very well, till I was found at a computer 2 weeks ago at my job.  Had I just said “no,  you can’t talk to me, no you can’t touch me, no don’t tell me you love me,”  maybe I’d not feel compelled to share the truth of what knowing a person with NPD is like.  Or what all the stages of a relationship with one is like.  But that did happen and as my posts have explained my world was rocked again.

I was minding my own business,  just doing my job when the Narc has to find me,  make sure I’m still a viable source of supply.  Those who know about NPD, know this was just out of their playbook.  I should’ve known better,  I do now.

So I write to say…if this is happening to you, get away asap!  Go absolutely no contact.   And if they make contact,  find a way to make it known.  Mostly to your world,  so your family and friends know how to help.

I choose to blog.  To share about NPD because it’s the story of my life.  I will share ANY time contact is made because I’m tired of not being left alone.  I’m tired of being called names, or lied about that I’m the one seeking contact.  I have made contact in the past, but not for awhile.  Since being in his house again, seeing the walls streaming with new “family” pics.  I don’t want anything to do with the Narc.  The psychologists here… maybe you have further insight into why I’m still being contacted; stalked, when I have moved on, supposedly the Narc has as well?  Why does he need to come “check on his ex?” Why “clear the air?”  Why the need to create more lies, when he knows there’s always proof to show the truth?

This is my blog.  My attempt to help others by sharing my life story.   If folks don’t like it… please rewatch the last video… you don’t have to read this.

Thank you, hopefully, confusion is cleared up.  I have moved on with my life,  now if only the Narcs in this world would leave me be.

PS: I wanted to update this…a great list of how to break away from this abuse:  https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2017/10/17/no-or-minimal-contact-is-more-like-a-personal-witness-protection-program-to-protect-yourself-from-the-damage-that-any-reconnection-with-a-narcissist-can-do-to-a-victim-2/

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Living Or Existing?

I found some random notes that I jotted down one night not that long ago that I thought I would share with you.  These are my thoughts about how I want to live my life these days.  I want to thrive, not just survive. Pardon me for the soap box…

It all ends in loss.  As all great battles do.  Love. War. Death.  There are no more romantic notions that we get out of this alive.  Once we’ve exhausted all the ways to prove ourselves invincible, whether the broken has healed or not,  promises kept or not; dreams realized or not, we still will not escape the end.

There is a beautiful calm; a peace that overcomes me when I accept this truth. Each one of us at some point will take our last breath.  No one will be exempt from the end.  So why do we wait to reach for joy?  To risk our hearts?  To push our bodies? To try new things?

There is no real time…time is this moment.  The one we still currently breathe in. As I have entered my 40’s I have finally begun to see…more clearly than ever…living is more than just the daily struggle to survive,  More than a job and bills to pay each month. More than endless responsibility.  Chores.  Endless tasks to finish.

This ONE life is made of SO much MORE!!  IF we choose to grasp each moment and LIVE!

Go travel.  Make that bucket list and go see the places you have always wanted to see. (save up though, no need to create additional stress in your quest to live your best life). Spend time with those you want in your life; make time for those who make time for you. If they don’t, let them go…no more chasing after those that don’t chase you back.  Call that girl you met, ask for her number, take her out.  Give that guy you’ve been crushing on your number, take his call.  Say yes more! Take more chances.

We don’t have all day…sometimes a second chance doesn’t come back around. Sometimes the end is the end.  Don’t always think there is another tomorrow.  Or a “someday.”   I don’t say that you should quit your job, run away and hop on the nearest flight and leave your responsibilities, but learn to live in the midst of it all.  Learn to thrive not just survive.

What does living look like for you?  What dreams would you pursue if you made this a priority?  Does your best life include travel?  School?  Learning a new skill?  Losing weight?  Whatever it is, make a plan and GO FOR IT!  LIVE! Create the Life you desire!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts…your dreams…what you do to take care of yourself and live your best.

Have a fabulous day!