Posted in General

Anniversary!

I started this blog one year ago today. It was with the intent to offer hope, inspiration and confidence to anyone that might read. It was my way to work through the pain and grief of ending a relationship with a man I loved who was terrible for and to me. My way to understand who he was, why and how he could do the things he did and call that love. By far the blog posts about narcissistic personality disorder and the recovery from that relationship have been the most popular.

It was not my intent to be outspoken about NPD. It wasn’t to demoralize the man I suffered from. It was to understand as much as I could about this type of relationship. All the stages of it I felt were important to share as I researched and worked through the healing process. I wanted to offer hope for anyone in a similar situation. And to show that it is possible to learn to love yourself again after this type of trauma. This blog was started with the intent to help others find their best life, as I worked to find mine.

One year later and almost a year of no contact, I am overjoyed to be in love with my life again. To have accepted the me that could love the Narc and allow that type of abuse. To have worked through the entire process of healing and understand truly what love is and how one should be treated within that love. To have learned how to process loss and see joy on the other side. To tackle my own demons and free myself from their shackles.

This year of blogging has been a journey of so many things. Self-discovery. Raw pain. Vulnerability. Joy. To be on the other side of NPD abuse and to now have a relationship with a man that accepts and understands who I am, who I want to be and helps me along the way in this adventure of life, is a piece of that joy. Knowing WHO I am and working daily to be MY BEST SELF is the greatest part of this journey.

I am thankful for all I learned this last year. Thank you all who have joined me here. To all those who have and still read about NPD, I hope this blog helps provide useful tools. I hope to spend this next year more focused on Joy. On Abundance and Living a Life You Love!

Here’s to more posts and continuing to learn to be our best selves.

Happy Anniversary!

Posted in General

12 Months, 12 days, 12 hours…

One year, one month, one day; life changes in an instant!  One year ago today, I was waking up to an unexpected surprise.  Having been on and off again with my long term boyfriend, I was kind of surprised to see an email from him when I awoke about midday (the joy of night shift sleep).  We had been kinda arguing and not at the best place when I opened the email.  I was half asleep, so I glanced, tried to process and went back to sleep. It vaguely registered that he had emailed me a proposal!  As in the THE Question many girls want!  To Marry him!  He had asked me to marry him!!!  Quite honestly I thought, he must be out of his mind.

engagement ringI went back to sleep and went into work that evening, not really thinking much of it. Later that evening, we connected and he brought it up, thinking perhaps I was ignoring the email (as was my nature to do).  He was SERIOUS! He meant it!  He asked me directly face to face to marry him and life changed…in less than a 12 hour shift. Less than a moment.

And now 12 months later, life has changed again.  We are no longer together.  We have both moved on and seem to be happier for it.

Marking the time of One Year, brings me new thoughts and revelations about how fast life changes.  How quickly we go from happy to sad,  from joy to sorrow, from laughter to tears.  This day does not hold any negative emotions, but a reminder that once upon a time, there was a boy who asked a girl to marry him.  She said yes.  But they did not end up happily ever after together….but perhaps they are both happier ever after.

Time continues to march on for each of us.  A year later and I wouldn’t trade where I am at.  There are new adventures to be had.  New people to meet.   New ideas to create.  New places to explore.  Whether life changes in 12 months, 12 days, 12 hours or 12 minutes, embrace the new!  Sometimes the view a year later is so much brighter than you can imagine.  The possibilities so endless that you can barely contain the joy in embracing them and moving forward!

How do you embrace the changes, unexpected or unplanned? The ones that bring pain but also joy?  Time continues on, how do you mark the changes?

Always.
Choose Joy.

Jen