Posted in General

Anniversary!

I started this blog one year ago today. It was with the intent to offer hope, inspiration and confidence to anyone that might read. It was my way to work through the pain and grief of ending a relationship with a man I loved who was terrible for and to me. My way to understand who he was, why and how he could do the things he did and call that love. By far the blog posts about narcissistic personality disorder and the recovery from that relationship have been the most popular.

It was not my intent to be outspoken about NPD. It wasn’t to demoralize the man I suffered from. It was to understand as much as I could about this type of relationship. All the stages of it I felt were important to share as I researched and worked through the healing process. I wanted to offer hope for anyone in a similar situation. And to show that it is possible to learn to love yourself again after this type of trauma. This blog was started with the intent to help others find their best life, as I worked to find mine.

One year later and almost a year of no contact, I am overjoyed to be in love with my life again. To have accepted the me that could love the Narc and allow that type of abuse. To have worked through the entire process of healing and understand truly what love is and how one should be treated within that love. To have learned how to process loss and see joy on the other side. To tackle my own demons and free myself from their shackles.

This year of blogging has been a journey of so many things. Self-discovery. Raw pain. Vulnerability. Joy. To be on the other side of NPD abuse and to now have a relationship with a man that accepts and understands who I am, who I want to be and helps me along the way in this adventure of life, is a piece of that joy. Knowing WHO I am and working daily to be MY BEST SELF is the greatest part of this journey.

I am thankful for all I learned this last year. Thank you all who have joined me here. To all those who have and still read about NPD, I hope this blog helps provide useful tools. I hope to spend this next year more focused on Joy. On Abundance and Living a Life You Love!

Here’s to more posts and continuing to learn to be our best selves.

Happy Anniversary!

Posted in General

Life isn’t a video game

I used to wake up every day wanting a different life.  I wanted a different body.  I wanted to live somewhere else.  A different house, job, car, etc.  I would start the day thinking about all the things I would change if I could.   Often I would start the day, already wanting a do-over.

From the outside, most would not know that I lived this way.  My head was full of looking at the past, at what I could have done differently that would have me in a different reality today.  I spent a lot of time focused on things I could not change.  If I could just press the reset button…all the things I didn’t like about myself or my life, would be better. Fixed.

All of us have these type of thoughts. Something we’ve said or done that we would like to take back or undo.  A moment we would change if we could.  But spending too much time in this thought pattern seems to hold us back from our true self.   The past has NOTHING for us!  We can not do anything about yesterday, but for some of us, we spend a lot of time thinking about and trying to change it.   We waste a lot of the present, worrying and trying to imagine what we could or should have done.

There is freedom when we stop looking backward and start being present in the current moment.  When we wake up with renewal rather than regret.  When we stop spending so much time worrying about what other people think, instead just love them.  Show up with them.  Be present in this exact moment with them.

Looking backward, we can gain an understanding into others and ourselves, but when we live there; when we take up residency in old houses, old moments, we are blocking ourselves from living with true joy.   This life is not a video game.  We do not get to press the buttons and reset.  There is no do-over.  Spending too much time wishing there was, wastes our energy.  Destroys our joys.  Takes away our ability to stay present.

How often do you want a reset button?    A do-over for this life?  For an event or a moment that you would like to rewind or start new?    It is OK to evaluate a past moment, to learn and allow the lessons to change our reactions in the present.  But if spend too much time living in the past, we lose the joy of today!  Of getting to see what this life has in store for each of us right now.

Living in the past steals our joy.  Stay present.  Learn to live right now!  Throw the game controller away and stop trying to push the reset button.  This life is happening now! Be here! Show up every day for your own life!

Embrace each new day.  Start living in the present moment and watch what joys you start to experience.  See what shows up in your current life, in this moment…it may be so fantastic, you would never imagine wanting another do-over again.