Posted in Wordy Wednesday

Wordy girl Wednesday–Merry Christmas

It’s quiet and all through my house those who are here are sleeping quiet as a mouse. I have coffee in hand, tree lights on and Christmas music playing. It’s a beautiful calm this morning.

This year we chose to stay home with whichever children could be here and enjoy a quiet day. It’s been an overwhelming stressful few months and having a calmer holiday seemed just the right thing. Sitting here this morning, enjoying my home in peaceful stillness I know we made the right decision.

Holidays can bring many expectations. And often we can be disappointed when these may not be met. They can be loud, chaotic and lots of fun. But also stressful and frantic. This morning as I start this day I am reminded what this is all about. Family. Love. Togetherness.

I am choosing to be joyful rather than stressed. I chose to enjoy the moments rather than expect them to be something in particular. We get to choose our mindset and I hope you chose love and joy today as you celebrate this holiday. I hope you focus on why we celebrate and what that means to you and yours.

As other family members are off to gather together I am grateful for those asleep in their beds above me right now. Grateful I get another day to enjoy this beautiful crazy life. Thankful for quiet moments to reflect and set my intentions for the day.

Even though this year is different than ever before, it’s still a great day. It’s still a day to celebrate. It’s still a beautiful day even as it changes and brings new moments.

I hope you hold onto every moment this day brings to you. We wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Posted in Sunday quotes

Sunday reflections (20)

I’ve been sharing a lot about joy as that is my usual state and I really want to share how possible it is to overcome the past and move forward to having a life you love. But I do have off days too. Today is one of those. I am cranky. Tired. Easily annoyed. Kinda wishing I’d just stayed in bed. There’s no real reason I can attribute this mood to other than it’s just an off day.

Do you feel like that at times? Where you’re just crabby and don’t really feel like talking to anyone? How do you tackle cranky emotions when they crop up?

In continually seeking to be my best self, I have found one of the best ways for me to change my attitude and mood is to be alone. And also to exercise.

It’s a beautiful sunny day here. Perfect for walking to the park or taking a long bike ride. Sometimes deep breathing and sitting quietly in the fresh air helps to clear the mind.

Think I’m going to head to find a place of peace. To sit quietly and close my eyes and refocus my thoughts.

I hope when you experience an off day, you have a goto method the helps you redirect to finding your better self. We all have cranky, edgy, negative attitudes but we can choose how long we walk in that state. We can choose to find a way back to peace and joy within our selves.

I hope you have a great beginning to your week. Here’s a couple pictures from our family hike yesterday; a beautiful moment I think I’ll focus on.

Latourelle Falls.

Posted in vocabulary

Friday’s word (31)

Good morning world. It’s early here in the Pacific Northwest. The typical rain is falling and my Friday begins. I’m enjoying the quiet as usual in the mornings. I should be at the gym but this puppy sitting at my feet had me up and down throughout the night, sleep was a challenge.

I was searching for the next letter in the alphabet and found this word. It’s Japanese and I’ll have to see if there is an English equivalent. But what a beautiful thought; to be so in touch, in sync with the universe that you deeply react to the beauty or perhaps even the despair. I’m not sure but I would think this word could apply either way. As long as you’re feeling a strong emotional response.

I’ve been in my Montana mountains or in the Tetons and felt this. I’m often moved by the beauty of the sunset. I’ve been known to pull over and take pictures. To stand and watch and just be in awe.

I hope you have some connection with the universe that you have moments of yugen. Look for it, it’s all around.

Have a fabulous Friday.

Posted in General

Anniversary!

I started this blog one year ago today. It was with the intent to offer hope, inspiration and confidence to anyone that might read. It was my way to work through the pain and grief of ending a relationship with a man I loved who was terrible for and to me. My way to understand who he was, why and how he could do the things he did and call that love. By far the blog posts about narcissistic personality disorder and the recovery from that relationship have been the most popular.

It was not my intent to be outspoken about NPD. It wasn’t to demoralize the man I suffered from. It was to understand as much as I could about this type of relationship. All the stages of it I felt were important to share as I researched and worked through the healing process. I wanted to offer hope for anyone in a similar situation. And to show that it is possible to learn to love yourself again after this type of trauma. This blog was started with the intent to help others find their best life, as I worked to find mine.

One year later and almost a year of no contact, I am overjoyed to be in love with my life again. To have accepted the me that could love the Narc and allow that type of abuse. To have worked through the entire process of healing and understand truly what love is and how one should be treated within that love. To have learned how to process loss and see joy on the other side. To tackle my own demons and free myself from their shackles.

This year of blogging has been a journey of so many things. Self-discovery. Raw pain. Vulnerability. Joy. To be on the other side of NPD abuse and to now have a relationship with a man that accepts and understands who I am, who I want to be and helps me along the way in this adventure of life, is a piece of that joy. Knowing WHO I am and working daily to be MY BEST SELF is the greatest part of this journey.

I am thankful for all I learned this last year. Thank you all who have joined me here. To all those who have and still read about NPD, I hope this blog helps provide useful tools. I hope to spend this next year more focused on Joy. On Abundance and Living a Life You Love!

Here’s to more posts and continuing to learn to be our best selves.

Happy Anniversary!

Posted in General

Free

This word sums up how I’m feeling.  The truth always sets you free!

And if I’m bothered by any more joy stealers, I’ll be sure to fill in the things I left out. I think I can skip all the activities of the summer. Not all truths have to be shared to become Free!

I see joy returning.   No more threatening, lying, manipulating thieves in my future.  It’s incredible to know I don’t have to live with questioning my partner! I get to live free from lies.  If ever I felt protection from a higher power, if there is one, that moment is now.  I’ve been kept safe from a life of doubt, control and bad behaviors.  I could shout I feel so good.

Live in truth! Freedom! Joy!